Confessions of a Feng Shui Consultant

The Truth about Cosmetic Acupuncture

2009-02-07T18:21:00.000-08:00

It works.

Well, let’s start by distinguishing two types of cosmetic work. First, acupuncture can treat dermatological conditions like acne, all forms of eczema, and more generally, any condition where someone’s skin is not functioning properly for someone their age. Which leads us to the second type. That phrase “for someone their age” draws us into the world of beauty. Anyone who lives well, eats well, is resilient, vibrant, and well adjusted will look great. Period. Does this describe many of us? You know the answer. Lifestyle, attitudes, and behaviours can compromise vitality.
You walk into the office of any Traditional Chinese Medical practitioner (without makeup) and show them those dark circles under your eyes and they immediately know you have compromised kidney function. Similarly, those bags over your eyes? You’re always tired? You don’t need a surgeon. You do need to restore your spleen and digestive system to better health. Am I speaking to you or someone you know? This is the world of cosmetic acupuncture.
Now, If you google “Cosmetic Acupuncture” or “Facial Rejuvenation” you’ll see lots of before and after shots, testimonials, and demonstrations. Everyone will tell you that it does three basic things: increase collagen production, tighten skin, and tone muscle. This speaks directly to every potential client’s primary motivation: vanity. It’s true so you might as well own it. Who doesn’t want to look their best? I know I do.
Looking great and feeling great go hand in hand. If a cosmetic treatment is going to have longevity, and be worth the money, it has to address the real reason you have those crow’s feet, dark circles, or puffy eyes. The energy of your body, your bodily systems are out of balance, and you are not replenishing your face. So while you will receive many painless needles in your face, the needles that contribute to you feeling great (and looking great) will be the ones that go other places like your lower legs, feet and hands. Those needles far from your face get your body working better in every way. The truth is, cosmetic acupuncture works by healing all of you. Those crafty Traditional Chinese Medical practitioners are using esthetics to hook people on feeling and looking great and maintaining themselves with their ancient methods. Oops, was that a secret?

More anger

2009-01-29T20:54:00.000-08:00

A while back I made note of the fact that I was thinking about anger and illness. Two things came out of that humble comment. 1) People were concerned that I was angry. What shocked me was that they thought my anger was a problem. Had I been angry it still would not have been a problem. No more than any other healthy emotion. You know, joy, sadness, fear, pensiveness. 2) It became clear that anger carries a stigma. Anger = Problem. Well, not in my book.

This is the last note I will make as a result of reading the Gabor Mate book mentioned in my last note.

About anger...

The repression of anger and the unregulated acting-out of it are both examples of the abnormal release of emotions that is at the root of disease. If in repression the problem is a lack of release, acting out consists of an equally abnormal suppression of release alternating with unregulated and exaggerated venting. I had a fascinating conversation with Allen Kaplin, a physician and psychotherapist in Toronto. He points out that both repression and rage represent a fear of the genuine experience of anger.

Healthy anger is an empowerment and a relaxation. The real experience of anger "is physiologic experience without acting out. The experience is one of a surge of power going through the system, along with a mobilization to attack. There is, simultaneously, a complete disappearance of all anxiety.

If anger is relaxation, then what is rage? When I am in a rage, my face is tight, muscles tense, and I look anything but relaxed. "The question is, What do people really experience when they experience rage? It's fascinating to ask people. If you really ask, the majority will describe anxiety." [272-273 When the Body Says No]

So acting out and repression are both ways to avoid feeling one's emotions. What does this tell us, for example, about one of our favorite forms of entertainment ? (Violence) The hero gets angry and reacts. The master gets angry and responds.

OH! Now I'm really mad! ;(

Healing with "negative thinking"

2009-01-29T20:53:00.000-08:00

I’ve been moved to re-read Gabor Mate’s book “When the Body Says No / Understanding the Stress Disease Connection” and last night this paragraph really jumped out at me.

In order to heal, it is essential to gather the strength to think negatively. Negative thinking is not a doleful, pessimistic view that masquerades as “realism.” Rather, it is a willingness to consider what is not working. What is not in balance? What have I ignored? What is my body saying no to? Without these questions, the stress responsible for our lack of balance will remain hidden. (p. 244)

I have yet to find a better book on the connection between emotions and disease.

The book draws on a wealth of scientific research showing that for a wide variety of illnesses, a self-effacingly positive attitude will expedite the disease process and kill you faster.

horoscopes and your path

2009-01-29T20:50:00.000-08:00

There are two basic philosophies when it comes to horoscopes, animal signs, and kua numbers. Your sign is who you are, OR your sign is your homework. I believe that you have a choice about how you behave and the events that make up your life. I believe your attitude is everything. And that the way you embrace or reject those things you perceive as “challenges” in your life determines so much about the life you live. The forecast for anyone who is born in this firey year of the Ox is that they will be especially challenged when it comes to parenting, and performing in the roles of either father or mother. To me this means they can make their lives miserable by turning their backs on these possible parts of their lives, OR they can enrich their lives tremendously by embracing parenthood and the male or female roles (which, for them, will most likely be more challenging than for people born in different years). Similarly, if your sign is one that traditionally does not deal well with conflict, then your choices about conflict will set the tone for your life.
The easy things. The things you do so well. The things at which other people marvel. Your strengths. You can rely on them. And no doubt your success depends on them. But your perceived weaknesses? Accept that you shouldn’t even try? Or never give your best because it won’t work out well anyway? Ignore them at your own peril. Choose to make them worse, and they will reward you for your lack of effort. As a dragon I could dread the arrival of the next dog year, but instead I consider it my greatest opportunity for growth and self-discovery. I relish the opportunity to be tested.

Personally, I am a dragon about to marry a dog. I know. (On the surface) Completely inauspicious. We should not get along at all. We are both kua 9, kindred spirits. And most importantly, I/we embrace the difference, the challenge and reward for being with someone so different. We love each other. We make something together that neither of us has ever made apart. That is worth fighting for, committing to, and growing.

If you are willing to see, there is more you can be.

After the Winter Equinox : : Yin Feng Shui : : Musings

2008-12-22T07:50:00.000-08:00

So many things are networking and connecting around me. It is great!

We just passed through the most yin/female/cool/dark/nurturing/watery day of the year. The year when female energy is at its strongest. The best time for males and male aspects of yourself, to regenerate and energize (The (TCM) Traditional Chinese Medical term is TONIFY -- to strengthen.) I did the tai chi form this morning and paused to wonder at the softness. I know that tremendous power and force can come from that softness, or bgetter, flow through that softness. I was like water this morning.
Later when I put more wood on the fire, my hand moved through cool ash at the edge of hearth. So profoundly soft. Crushed velvet has nothing on ash. Nor does talc. More air than solid and amazingly yielding. Softness. There is such strength in understanding how to yield. With intent to do so. I am reminded of the Taoist phrase about moving a tremendous weight in motion with a small well placed force.
Yin. In both feng shui and TCM circles "yin" also refers to death and the dead. Like this sleepy wintertime. Extreme inactivity. An absence of life force. Everything I do for clients is YANG Feng Shui. Feng Shui for the living. There is another world of feng shui for the dead. The proper or improper placement of headstones and plots has implications and effects on generations.
Similarly, the family into which you marry, OR the family karma you unite with your own has tremendous implications. You don't marry a single isolated individual. You bring together two separate streams that would not flow together without your actions and choices. [Still think arranged marriages are stupid? Better left to emotional whimsy?]
There is so much just below the surface if you know what to look for. And when I touched the ash, I was reminded, humbled, because it is like touching every human being who has ever been. We all go there eventually, our physical bodies. And it reminded me that I have only so much time in this body. Then I must move on. Just as winter leads into spring. Extreme Yin inevitably transforms into young yang, OR the yin recedes and the yang becomes more and more dominant.
There are so few practitioners who do yin Feng Shui. The responsibility for future generations is too big for most people. Like playing with GMOs or setting national environmental policys and regulations. Who is truly qualified to do such things with an understanding of the responsibility to generations. Sometimes I forget the significance of what I have learned. I take it for granted. Like it is common knowledge. It is not. And I am so grateful for what I have learned and continue to learn.

Knowing and Caring for patients

2008-11-30T13:29:00.000-08:00

Too often too few take the time.

Let me explain. There is a song by Rogers and Hammerstein, made famous by Deborah Kerr in the film version of The King and I, called Getting to Know You. She sings it to the King’s wives and children. It is a warm, loving, welcoming song. Now, let that song run through your head for a minute… Getting to know ALLLLL about you… Holistic practitioners cannot do their jobs properly, nor give you their best service, without getting to know you. It is that simple.

Health care is a huge industry. And the government-funded part has become faster and less personal. Don’t take my word for it, think about your experiences in recent years. I know GPs who will only deal with one concern per visit. “Triage” is an important emergency room practice for addressing the most critical cases, and leaving less critical conditions to wait. The patient to doctor ratios are high. Hence the waiting lines and lists. The doctor who was there for my birth at the Wellesley in Toronto, Daniel MacPherson, knew every member of my family. He made house calls. He made the time to know us. He left an indelible impression on my sense of what health care can and should be. I am indebted to that man. If every physician in Canada now, took the time that Dr. MacPherson took with his patients, we would need many MANY more physicians. Difficult choices.

That impression led me to learn and practice a form of health care for which knowing people is essential. Sometimes the intake interview is over an hour (without giving any form of treatment beyond conversation). And I suspect this is in part because people are not given the undivided attention of someone knowledgeable who cares and listens. This is something rare in our time. So when you get it you make the most of it!

OK, so let me give you a snapshot of a typical Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) intake. You arrive at the clinic for the first time and receive an intake questionnaire from your TCM practitioner. They are friendly and explain that before you two can sit down and really talk, you need to complete the questionnaire for them. Now, many things just happened. You were just evaluated. From the look in your eyes to your handshake, everything meant something to the person you just met. E V E R Y T H I N G. You received a lengthy questionnaire that covers your body, mind, and emotions. Completing it gives you the time to reflect on what is going on with you, and remember things you might forget if you just walked into the office and started talking. You get to focus on you. Then you hand it over, they review it with you, and then you talk, as openly and honestly as you can.

From the beginning you are a puzzle they are trying to reassemble through the pieces you give them. Using all the tools they have assembled. Why does everything matter? Knowing the type of work you do, steel worker or seamstress, tells me of your daily activities and environments. Your family life, hobbies and interests reveal your level of spirit. Everything, from the coarseness of your hair to how many hours you sleep at night reveals information about your condition and completes a profile of you as a living person. And now they can provide you with their best treatment and care.

For your wellness on all levels, they make the time.

See also, the recent article in the CBC news regarding the importance of physician patient relationships:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/healthcare/patient-doctor-relationship.html

New Clinics

2008-11-29T13:52:00.000-08:00

New Clinic Locations & Hours
Acupuncture, Cosmetic Acupuncture, Tui Na Chinese Health Massage, Chinese Herbs, and Mentoring

--------------------------

------------------------------------------------------

Starting December 12 , my full range of services will be offered

Fridays from 9:00 to 6:00 pm at

Body Sense

33 King Street West in Dundas 905.628.3807

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Starting Thursday November 27, my full range of services will be offered

Thursday evenings from 5:30 to 9:00, and

Saturdays from 8:00 to 6:00 pm

Main Street Wellness

807 Main Street West in Hamilton 905.524.2220

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My Privat Clinic operates to serve the needs of clients who are unable to book appointments at the above locations and times. Appointments outside of regular clinic hours are available. Please call for an appointment.

65 Inverness Avenue West in Hamilton 905.317.8899

I WILL do my best to accommodate short notice and emergency patients whom I have previously treated.

I do NOT accept drop in patients. I respectfully ask that you make an appointment and submit a completed diagnostic Questionnaire (page 1 and 2) before you arrive. Only this way may I give you my best.

House Calls

I make house calls. Yes, I do. In the Hamilton region I charge an additional $25. For emergency house calls, with less than 24 hours notice, I charge $50. House calls outside the Hamilton region are an additional $0.50 / km. There is no additional travel charge if the house call is done in conjunction with a Feng Shui consultation.

FULL DETAILS at http://www.balancedwayconsulting.ca/Acupuncture_Services.htm

The Christmas Spirit

2008-11-29T13:51:00.000-08:00

The following is a short article for my new Newsletter. I'll have a regular section called "Live where you live" I hope that is obvious. Here is the first article...

No newsletter whose focus is wellness can ignore the biggest Canadian holiday, Christmas. It cannot be ignored, nor should it be! I have met a wide variety of humbuggers in my life. All raging against some negative version of the seasonal celebration. Finding meaning in opposition. To all of them I have but one thing to say. You are missing out and you are choosing to do so. There is a spirit that sweeps across this great nation. One of joy, hope for a coming new year, renewal of ties with friends and family, and helping strangers. Renewal of faith. It comes like a wave and carries those who are willing to be moved to a place of great joy. Let the spirit move you. You will not regret it!

My best feng shui advice for the season is simply this, PARTICIPATE. You live here. Put a wreath on your door. Put up lights. Wear a Santa hat. Be silly or jolly. But most importantly, want to do so. Want it. Each of us brings different memories to Christmas. Want this one to be the best it can be, for you, and for everyone. We have this tradition for very healthy appropriate seasonal reasons. In the dead of winter we are so very alive and grateful. We are among the warm things that do not freeze. Fellowship and good cheer are rampant! Look beyond the line-ups, and slow-downs. See how we as a people come together and allow ourselves to enjoy one of our few national celebrations. Let smiles, rosy cheeks, and singing flourish like leaves in spring and flowers in summer. It is Christmas in Canada once again. Let peace, love, and understanding be abundant as… snow*.

*<;-)

Note: If this captures your feeling for the season, please share it.

Acupuncture or Feng Shui?

2008-11-29T13:50:00.000-08:00

How old is your mattress?
How often do you change the sheets and pillowcases?
Which way does your house/apartment face?
How often do you get/make home cooked meals?
Is your cell phone ever off?

"Why? Is it important?"

Curious questions, right? Do you think they are most likely from a feng shui evaluation or a Traditional Chinese Medical interview? Neither, and both. Historically, anyone who was a really good healer (of bodies or environments) practiced in both fields. There is a best location for rest and recovery. Any acupuncturist should know how to determine this location for any patient. Excessive emotions impact different internal organs. Your feng shui consultant should know which internal organ is being weakened by these emotions, and the appropriate therapeutic remedies for both body and place. Once you start learning a holistic practice, there is no end to the life aspects you need to know about. That is holism with a capital H. Truthfully, when you begin to understand health and balance, the distinction between inside and outside becomes fuzzy (or disappears;)

Relationships

2008-11-29T13:49:00.002-08:00

I was making changes to my business web site last night (www.balancedwayconsulting

.ca) and thinking about a great couple I had advised on feng shui concerns for their wedding. Location, colours, table settings, dates, times, the works. As with most couples, they wanted, but did not openly ask for, advice on how to last a lifetime. So we had the commitment talk. That isn't a popular word or idea these days. With 50% divorce rates in North America, I can understand why. Love. You actually need more than this if you want to hedge your bets.

What is the measuring stick for a healthy relationship?

Does the relationship empower you?
Are there more opportunities for cooperation than conflict?
Does it regularly take a lot of energy/effort in order to be with that person?

At the end of the day when you part company how do you feel? (after you give yourself time to truly connect with your body/gut?)

-----

Ask yourself: Why should I stay with this person?

If you answered "Because I love them." then go to the back of the line.

If you answered "Because of what I become with that person." then move forward.

It is never a matter of what that person gives you, that implies stagnation and dependence.

Ask yourself: What have I become with this person?

If you answer honestly, without fear, you will save yourself heartache and discover something truly revealing...

Believe me, none of the above is easy, and it is so so so worth doing.
The choice of who to spend your life with is the most important decision you will ever make. (The second most important being what the two of you choose to create together.)

There is nothing more nurturing and supportive than someone you can truly depend on. Someone who will not bail on you no matter what comes. That is commitment. That is hard to find. That is hard to do.
That is ultimately affirming both for you and your loved one.

So, go get busy!)

------------------------ good advice from a favourite author, the Barefoot Doctor --------------------

Expecting someone to love you a certain way is a certain way to kill the way they love you.

Ideally, respect yourself enough to respect the other person enough to allow them to make their choices based on truth rather than lies.

Security

2008-11-29T13:49:00.001-08:00

In my line of work I pay attention to homes/buildings and neighborhoods in ways most people do not. I was driving to a client's home the other day when I drove down a lightless street. There were street lights, but none of the homes were lit. How does that feel when you think about it. Do you want your car to stall on this street? Or on one with welcoming well lit homes? If you are going to break into a home and steal things which house do you think is less likely to be inhabited? Less trouble for your task?

Your home is safe because of your intent. The messages you send with your actions. All the lights are out? The blinds and curtains are all drawn? Afraid? Most likely. Ask a policeman. Are you more likely to draw unwanted attention by looking confident and alert, or by walking and reading, being plugged into your i-pod, or looking down at the ground as you walk. You already know the answer. I would bet that having a home that looks loved, welcoming, and inhabited is much better safety measure than any security system. Better yet, know and be on good terms with your neighbors. "Yeah, we watched the guys in the van carry away your big screen. Was there a problem?" These "precautions" require you to overcome fear. Fear of strangers, both your neighbors and the people your welcoming home might draw. Fear of looking like you are not afraid! And perhaps fear of not being afraid.

In the West, fashion follows stereotypical ideals. To (over-)generalize, all womens' clothing promotes vulnerability or perceived vulnerability. Run in heels? Clothing that offers adequate coverage? Men's suits cover them like armor. Men only expose themselves when they are perceived as powerful in other ways, i.e. sports. Or to attract mates. Don't get me wrong, it feels great to look great, to dress great, but what is the basis of that greatness. Step back, outside the framework of "women must be vulnerable to be beautiful and men must be concealed to be strong" and look for something better. Choose. People will pay attention.

This is the water we swim in. Yet fish have grown lungs and walked on land... so I am told.

My hope is that we will shed this fear that drives far too much of our decision making. That we can become motivated and grounded in something better.

Confident in who and what we are. And proud of that.

I will do my part. I promise.

Protection

2008-11-29T13:48:00.002-08:00

Protection. There is a naive and quaint notion that the spirit world, or energetic world, is populated exclusively with saintlike beings who have only benevolent intentions. Oh, I don't like raining on parades any more than the next guy, but... We lock our doors for reasons. We learn self-defence for good reasons. We have best before labels for reasons. Trusting that everything will always work out well is at best naive and at worst self destructive and self-disrespectful.

Each of us has an obligation, if we think that we are important and worth preserving, to care for and protect ourselves.

Examples. I have met many reiki practitioners who believe they are invulnerable to the negative or predatory energies/things that come with some patients. The more brightly you shine, the more attractive you are to darkness. Sorry, but in my experience this is how it sometimes works.
While traveling in China, a number of Qi Gong practitioners confided in me that they thought nothing of opening themselves up to whatever energy might come along and pay attention to them. They were asking for kindness and this is exactly what they expected. The notion that something different might happen was inconceivable. This is like leaving your front door open with a sign saying everyone is welcome. It works until it doesn't.

I love my fellow man. Some are not welcome in my home. Nor are they welcome in my circle of friends.

Helping people to help themselves

2008-11-29T13:48:00.001-08:00

There are two well known Chinese interpersonal energy practices, namely Feng Shui and Acupuncture. I practice both. They share common principles. The inside reveals itself on the outside. Whether it is the mess in your house or the skin colour around your eyes, the condition of your spirit, your mental and physical well-being, your deeply held beliefs about everything, all of these interior aspects of who you are show themselves to those who are trained to see the signs. Holism. Nothing is hidden. And the harder you try to conceal things, the more it shows up in warning signs.

You believe you do not deserve to be successful and things continue to pile up unorganized. Find that important letter you put on a pile yesterday? Which pile? How long will it take to find? Do you think Donald Trump misplaces important documents?

You continue to repress your anger and you feel more and more helpless, the skin around your eyes gets more yellow and darker. Your liver speaks without your consent. And ultimately it says the things you need to hear, from yourself. And say to every important person in your life.

We all come with a set of challenges. Learning to properly respond to real/perceived challenges is critical for anyone seeking karmic success, however you wish to manifest that success.

A warrior's greatest challenge is not mastery of others, but mastery of oneself.
EVERYTHING. E V E R Y T H I N G depends on this.

Every feng shui consultation. Every acupuncture and tui na massage treatment. Every mentoring session. All have this underlying goal. To help people to help themselves. Every healer knows this no matter which form of healing they have chosen. (Unless they act from ego and not selflessly.)

You deserve success. You deserve love. You deserve so much.
Give it to yourself. The choice is always yours.

Boss! The Feng Shui consultant is here!

2008-11-29T13:46:00.002-08:00

Well, since I just posted a note from a corporate consult, here is a short article I wrote about business consults.

Boss! The Feng Shui consultant is here!

The following is based on an article that first appeared in the 2006 Summer issue of The Empty Vessel magazine, see www.abodetao.com , as well as in the local Hamilton publication for free and progressive thinkers, Mayday Magazine, published by the SkyDragon Foundation, see either http://www.maydaymagazine.org/index.html or www.skydragon.org/html/abo

ut.html There is also an article in the business publication The Leading Edge from the Sage Portfolio Group.

: :

Relax. There is nothing to fear. He is not a new age hatchet man. He is a catalyst for positive change! You may recall a week ago your boss asked you all those odd questions from a questionnaire? " How well do we know our business neighbours?", "Is our goal in business to make money or make a difference? (or both!)", "Is there anyplace where you do not feel comfortable at work?", "Who are we competing with? Other businesses or ourselves?", "Is there anyone working here who is very unhappy?" A good Feng Shui consultant will want to know as much factual information about you, your staff, your business operations, and your business location before dropping by to consult and evaluate for your business. Hence the lengthy questionnaire.

What is a feng shui consultant anyway? Someone with experience and training in how to restore balance to places and people for the benefit of everyone involved. Is it some kind of religion? No, but given that to do the job you have to have a strong sense for the energies of locations and people, you could say it is a spiritual practice. Others just say they do "energy work." Whatever you call it, your feng shui consultant will do their best to address the concerns of everyone where you work. What kind of concerns? Since this is a business consultation, they will focus on helping your business do its best. Everyone's opinion counts. Feng shui is a holistic practice that looks at the business as a complete entity. You all have rolls to play and things work best when everyone acts with a common purpose, and feels nurtured and supported. Sound good so far?

Feng Shui consultants have been helping businesses be successful for millennia. They are keen observers, careful listeners, and sensitive to the positive and negative energies active in any location. Depending on the reasons for the consultation, they may interview just the CEO or everyone who works there. If your getting the works, expect recommendations for every part of the workplace, especially each person's office, the main entrance, the main meeting place, the kitchen/dining space, the building exterior and landscape, web page, corporate logo and motto, business cards and advertising. Each person involved will receive recommendations for their individual success in that business. Everything from the colours that support their individual goals to their power positions for meetings. There is nothing that Feng Shui does not take into account when it comes to promoting business health.

Your CEO sits with their back to the workplace and looks out a window at a beautiful park where they'd rather be? This is a business, right? That desk gets repositioned so the focus and energy from the top goes first and foremost into the business.

The accounting department experiences regular staff turnover and morale is terrible? The building's washrooms are located on the floor above and directly over the accounting department? Accounting is going to move and the old space will become storage.

Your pulp and paper business' sales have plateaued and coincidentally it started a month after the new "fire red" business cards were given to the sales staff? Fire consuming wood? Time to grow more sales with the right cards.

In 2007, the year of the Pig, you are going launch a new Recreation and Leisure magazine? You've picked the right year, but which month would virtually guarantee success? Whether it is a new product or a corporate entity, they all have birth dates that speak to their future performance. Your consultant will make the calculations and give you their best recommendations.

While media portrayals of feng shui may lead one to believe the practice has no substance, serious practitioners get real results and you might be surprised at just who in the corporate world uses feng shui services regularly? Can you think of any major chains that have had makeovers (interiors or staff uniforms) and then risen out of their slumps? Is there a single bank in North America that didn't get a consult for the design and location of its last corporate headquarters? Just speculation.

Feng Shui isn't for everyone. Often the recommendations make no sense, yet clients regularly marvel at just how much better things feel and work after the changes are made. The results are often surprising and unpredictable. It demands faith. And commitment.

My only recommendation? Find a consultant you trust. Shop around. Get recommendations. Interview, and follow your instincts. You're in business to win. You must have good instincts by now.

Honey! The Feng Shui consultant is here!

2008-11-29T13:46:00.001-08:00

The following article first appeared in the 2006 Summer issue of The Empty Vessel magazine, see www.abodetao.com , as well as in the local Hamilton publication for free and progressive thinkers, Mayday Magazine, published by the SkyDragon Foundation, see either http://www.maydaymagazine.org/index.html or www.skydragon.org/html/abo

ut.html

Honey! The Feng Shui consultant is here!

Relax. There is nothing to fear. You may recall a week ago your spouse asked you all those odd questions from a questionnaire? Like "How well do you know your neighbours?", "What do you know about the previous owners of your home?", "Is there any place in your home where you do not feel comfortable or at ease?" A good Feng Shui consultant will want to know as much factual information about you, your family members, and your home before dropping by to consult with you and evaluate your home.

Hence the lengthy questionnaire.

Now that they are here, their primary job is to help you get the maximum benefit from the energies of the world you live in (home, work, and play). Contrary to pop culture, feng shui is not about rearranging furniture and redecorating. It is all about you, the people you share your life with, and the places where you spend most of your time. So the consultant will want to talk to each family member about their goals and dreams, concerns, and expectations. If someone does not wish to participate, the process stops. It is simply wrong to exclude someone, and not take them into account in the calculations and final recommendations. The fact that they do not want to participate is important, and rests with the family to address.

Assuming that everyone wants to play, the fun now begins. When you give a Feng Shui practitioner your birth information, they then know a great deal about you. They know where your life's challenges lie and what you find easy. They know which energies nurture and support you, and which ones drain and weaken you. They know this because your time of arrival dictates many things about your path in this life. How well you address your challenges is up to you, but the challenges themselves are predictable. The fact that you have sought the help of a Feng Shui practitioner indicates that you genuinely want to improve, and you understand that there are people who make it their business to work with the energies of the universe to help you address your specific challenges. In this business, there is no room for ego. I leave mine outside the door when I come to your home. If you let your position go to your head (i.e. you think you are better than others because of what you can do), the universe smacks you pretty hard pretty fast.

Ok, so the consultant now has a good sense of who all of you are and what each of you wants. It is calculation time. First a scale drawing of your home is created (it would be ideal if you already have a blue print, but who does?) And yes, this means that the consultant will see every room of your house in detail. And no, it doesn't matter if a room is messy, in fact it is most helpful if you do not tidy or clean the house prior to their visit. Your house, as it is RIGHT NOW, says a lot about who you are. Your consultant wants to help the real you and not some pretend you.

Finally, after getting acquainted with your home, it is recommendation time. The consultant will do their best to support the wants and needs of everyone who lives in the house. The more people who live in the house, the more difficult it is to meet all of their needs (sounds like normal family life). The recommendations will include the overall best colours, shapes, and materials for each room of the house, with particular attention and detail given to each person's bedroom. Furniture may be rearranged. If a particular room is unsuitable for someone, alternatives will be found. And everyone will receive a list of those things that benefit them, including the best and worst colours and shapes for their wardrobe, jewelry, vehicles, tools, toys, etc. there is no aspect of life that Feng Shui does not touch or take into consideration. For example, if you are looking for a suitable mate, a good consultant can give you many suggestions as to how you can respectfully tell the universe what you want. If you know how to ask, the universe does listen and respond. Many of the things you are already doing will indicate how you are working for or against yourself. For example, if your bedroom has a wall full of photographs of friends and family, or a wall full of stuffed toys, at a subconscious level you have an audience. Your bedroom is first and foremost an inviting private place for you and your mate, where you should feel completely comfortable and secure. Do you really want your grandparents staring at you? There are more appropriate places for an ancestral gallery. Enough said.

Feng Shui is an ancient art practiced for the benefit of those who want to grow and be in harmony with their families and homes. There are business applications as well, but that is another article (the Oct 19 article)

Peace

Success and Me

2008-11-29T13:44:00.001-08:00

So I'm committed to success. Just what does that mean?

Well, in a roundabout way, I will not work with people I truly believe I can not help. Just take their money!? No thank you. That is not my way.

Examples... I have been asked to "just feng shui the home for her and not him" (they are a couple living in the same house, right?) I have rules I work and live by. Everyone is included or I do not do the job. It is that whole holism thing. Everyone in my opinion is important. Excluding them sends a very negative message. I know that I charge by the occupied bedroom. The more people involved, the more complex the evaluation. And I've had this one go both ways. A mother asked me to do the whole house to favour the children. Wow! While they are all equally important, they are definitely different. The prosperity and wellbeing of children depends on that of their parent(s). The consequences of what she was asking for would have been disastrous! Not to mention what she is saying about herself and her place in that family/household. And then there are those couples who are unwilling to pay to include their children in the evaluation. What does that say? Enough said.

So back to success. I could have done all of those evaluations and been richer financially, but poorer ethically and karmicly. And I have no doubt that they would have been dissatisfied and the results would have been poor or worse. No thank you to any of that!

The same goes for business consults. Business consultations are far more expensive than those for homes. Homes are about personal/family well being and prosperity, not profit. Business consults are about all of those things. Cheep feng shui consult? What is the message you are sending the universe about the importance / value of your business? Help you harmonize the energies of heaven and earth for profit? You better be serious.

So sure, I am choosy. That is fair, right? I want my clients to do well. Who doesn’t?

So when he asks for a consult but with the proviso that she does not believe it will help, I walk away. They aren’t on the same page. I do not want to take their money.

Bedroom Advice

2008-11-29T13:42:00.000-08:00

Bedrooms

A few months ago I was on the new CHCH morning Home Show, CH@HOME, talking about Feng Shui for bedrooms. Why? Because it was spring, the time of renewal, reproduction, and romance [think green, think sprouts and buds]. Your bedroom is your most important room. You spend more time there than in any other room in your home. You go there to rest, recharge, and for physical intimacy. It is essential that this room nurtures and supports you every way it can. From a Feng Shui perspective there is a short list of essential, “DOs”, and “DON’Ts”.

First and foremost decide “What is your bedroom’s purpose?” I have seen bedrooms do double duty as home offices and storerooms. In my opinion, the only appropriate purpose for your bedroom is rest, renewal, and intimacy. Mixed purposes are always compromises. DO NOT compromise when it comes to your most important room. Find another room for your office or that pile of boxes. Your bedroom can be a sanctuary. You deserve one.

Do have the most comfortable and restful bed you can afford. Be sure it has a headboard, which symbolically supports you. Generally speaking, the bigger the bed the better! That said, make sure it is not too big for the room. You are more important than your bed.

Do display photos of yourselves; just the two of you – a happy couple. This says who you are and what you want: a strong, healthy, loving relationship. There should be no audience. No photos of family or friends. No collection of stuffed animals. You wouldn't want your grandparents watching you, nor Pooh Bear staring at you wondering what you are doing. There are great places in every home for a wall of family photos and that teddy bear collection. It isn’t in your bedroom.

Generally speaking, you DO NOT WANT anything that takes away from the purpose of the room. So, this means no phone. I know we all feel like we should be chained to those things, and that not being close to one would be irresponsible. My first priority when working with any client is their well being. I think about it like this: my clients rest very soundly in their bedrooms, and I want you to be emotionally and intellectually prepared for that call that comes at 4 A.M. Regardless of whether it is good news or bad, I want you to get up, walk out of your bedroom and reach a level of awareness and preparedness that is appropriate for what you may be facing with that call.

No mirrors either. You are quite capable of dressing without a mirror. And you’ll make yourself presentable in the bathroom mirror. Good Feng Shui consultants’ recommendations always work on multiple levels. Again, I’m thinking of your well being. I don’t want my clients waking in the night, getting up to go to the bathroom, and being startled in their groggy state, by something unexpectedly moving (themselves) in a mirror. This is your bedroom. It should be as safe and secure as possible. If something unexpectedly moves, you may go right into fight-or-flight mode! Not a positive experience. Put that full length mirror in the bathroom on the back of the door.

No TV. This one is usually a fight. Remember: rest, relaxation, and intimacy. While people can connect while watching television, the risk of ignoring each other, or having one person watching while the other tries to sleep, is just too great. Have a room for entertainment and that big screen. Keep the distractions out of your bedroom.

No ensuite bathroom. Ah, the great North American status symbol. No one should be without the convenience of one! Just say no. There are many reasons. Here are two. There is nothing romantic or restful about the noises that come out of bathrooms. You know this. You can’t ignore them. No matter how sexy your partner is when they emerge, the prelude sets the wrong mood. As well, from a deeper Feng Shui perspective, everything that we do in bathrooms has to do with getting rid of something unwanted. I will not elaborate. Choosing an ensuite is like choosing to build your new dream home next to the dump. Sure, you have total convenience. You walk into your backyard and throw your garbage over the fence. But…

These are the basics for creating an extraordinary bedroom. Other critical pieces, like room colours and placement of the bed are chosen specifically for the people who will sleep there. I hope that the reasons for the above recommendations reveal something important about Feng Shui. It is much more than simply rearranging furniture, throwing up wind chimes, and burning incense. There are many reasons behind every recommendation and the overall evaluation is tailored to the needs of the individual(s). Your happiness and well being are always your consultant’s first priority. The same house could be decorated and arranged in two completely different ways for two different couples. Just like clothes. You can buy something off the rack or get something tailor made for you. If you have the choice…. what would you wear?

Corporate Recommendations / Tremendous Change

2008-11-29T13:41:00.000-08:00

I just finished compiling the recommendations for my latest corporate client. It is a big, no B-I-G, to-do list. When I give my best to my clients, they get a lot. Some find it overwhelming. Other clients let me know up front that they can only handle so much. That's fair. Not everyone is prepared or even interested in 100%. As I reflected on this, and the feedback I've received over 8+ years of doing Feng Shui, words came. I wrote the following at the beginning of the BIG list...

--------------------------

Tremendous change is made up of many many small changes. Please do not feel that you must do all of this at once, or ever. I have included a short list of the priority items at the end. More important than finishing, is starting. I don’t think I have a single client who has ever done everything I have recommended. But all have experienced surprising positive change after starting.

When you hired me you asked for positive change to come to your business. I know this is happening. The single most important thing you can do now is to be grateful for what you have, and light one stick of incense every day until the supply runs out.

I wish you and your staff great success and happiness. I will support your efforts in any way I can. Please do not hesitate to e-mail or call with questions or concerns. I promise to return once you have painted and rearranged things. Fine-tuning is part of the consultation.

--------------------------

I will include such a proviso with every list from now on.

Supernatural activity

2008-11-28T10:17:00.000-08:00

Just below the surface… It never ceases to amaze me just how many people have encountered some sort of supernatural phenomena. Take disembodied human spirits (aka ghosts). I have a friend who works construction. He is a total no nonsense kind of guy. He’s from the show-me state. We were talking a while back about things that go wrong in homes during construction. The topic of ghosts came up. He recounted a story about a home one of his colleagues bought up in Dundas on the mountain brow. Some of you may know it because the “haunted places” in and around Hamilton are relatively well known. Their two families were seated around the main dining room table and a wine glass moved across the table. All by itself. My point? He isn’t your typical (if there is a typical) new age believe everything kind of person. Yet he has witnessed something he can not explain. For the record, I have met and spoken with disembodied human spirits. It goes with the job. I know people who like living with ghosts. This is where I draw the line. Ghosts do not belong here in this world. There are many why reasons they are here, none of them are appropriate. Moreover from a safety perspective, would you let a stranger live in your house? You may believe it is your relative, but how can you be sure? No, really? How? There is a proper place for them to go and it isn’t here with us. I have helped them leave. I never charge for this service. As my teacher said, “it is inappropriate to profit from the suffering of the dead.” If I am called to help, I am meant to do so. That’s all there is to it.

Appearances

2008-11-28T10:14:00.000-08:00

A former client confessed to me that he opened his apartment door the other night to a chance upon a lovely woman walking by. She stopped and starred. Unfortunately she starred right past him and at the apartment. “Nice” was all she said, before moving on.
Now to be fair, everything, and I mean E V E R Y T H I N G, that we choose, consciously or unconsciously says something about who we are. All of your behaviours, be it something self-destructive like smoking, or life affirming like gardening, offer testimony as to who you are. As your body shows the world its condition through subtle means like your irises (Iiridology) and clumbsy ways like mental and physical illness, so do the other "things" in your life. It is all you. Revealing yourself. Asking for help, or reveling in just how wonderful you truly are!
The key is to listen and act in your best interest.
My client, changed his apartment. He did a great job. He is on his way...

The need for kleenex

2008-11-26T20:12:00.000-08:00

People regularly cry on me. OK, not literally on me, but in my presence during interviews. I go out of my way to make them feel safe and comfortable (protection). And the interview process is very personal. Intimate. Sometimes invasive. If there is abuse in the home, I need to know. You are an abuse survivor? Extremely important to know if I am to do my best for you. All sorts of emotional stuff comes spilling out. Right there on the kitchen floor while I am trying to figure out whether the stove faces your health direction and if it is doing you any good right next to the dishwasher. Sorry, but multitasking is an occupational hazard. When things get intense, of course you get my undivided attention. UNDERSTAND, I AM NOT A COUNCILOR. I mentor people. And I am a great listener. There is a fine line between dumping your emotional hard drive on me and giving me what I need to know in order to advise you of the best changes to make for your overall goals. Dancing around this line is part of the job. I have no problem with telling people when they have crossed the line. And providing hugs and Kleenexes.

Intuitions

2008-11-23T07:12:00.000-08:00

Intuitions. They are difficult things to speak of in general terms.
Mine come in two distinct forms. Spatial and verbal. The spatial come as an extra sense for things in physical space. Too vague, right? Ok. How about this. You know when you see a chair in the corner of a room? Imagine having that experience of "presence" without seeing anything that corresponds to the source of the experience. You know something is there but you do not get cues as to what it is from your regular senses. This is likely one of the reasons why I am a feng shui practitioner. Why I was drawn to learn as much as I could and experience and practice this craft. The directions [N, S, E, W, SW...] each have a distinct "feel." Try this, after you calm yourself, relax. Let yourself feel what is around you. See if you can feel differences? Don't presume what you will experience. Just accept whatever you get. Forget what you know about where North is and just feel it. That is one beginning of the feng shui journey.
The linguistic side is totally different. I get a voice in my head. No, we don't argue and it never urges me to do illegal things! Like Socrates. Like other well known figures who followed their intuitions. I get an impulse that is inexplicable.
An example. This one convinced me to ALWAYS follow that inner push. I'd been out on my motorcycle enjoying what would turn out to be the last sunny snow free day in December (2000). I came to a crossroads just outside of Dundas Ontario. I had errands to run, groceries to pick up, etc... my rational voice said "you're done and you've gotta go get groceries" and my intuitions clearly said, you need to just ride a little more... I went with the first voice. On my way to the grocery store, a young lady with her beginners license, driving her parents car without permission, did an unsignalled u-turn in front of me. I flew 70 feet. I remember none of it! I remember waking up in hospital to a physician asking me the most idiotic questions, and I told him as much. I had shattered my calcaneous. My helmet was a write-off. The rest of me was just sore. I AM a lucky guy. I know it. I am so grateful. My surgeon was the only one in South-Western Ontario willing to try a new technique for my repairs, and still he said I'd never run again. I do tai chi daily. I can run just fine thank you very much.
Each of us has this voice, for lack of a better term, that is willing to guide us if we are willing to hear it and act. I regularly do so with feng shui clients and acupuncture patients. It often leads me to risk losing people by asking very difficult or probing questions. It has never failed to lead me to discoveries. (And to help others.) I have no regrets from following it.

It never makes sense. It is not rational. Turn right or turn left?
There may seem to be absolutely no difference. Yet there is.
There is only one way to discover this for yourself.

Reasons...

2008-11-22T07:29:00.000-08:00

I had a client die on me once. To be honest, he was already terminal. His, in my opinion, disrespectful and excessively dependent 20+ years old children treated his home like a hotel. They treated him like he was already dead and a handy ATM. I’m not blaming anyone. This was how they behaved. (I mention their behaviour because it was one of the symptoms of his deteriorating condition) In some ways it was too late for me to make a difference. Yet the conversations we had, the changes we made to the parts of the home most impactful to his physical/emotional/mental/spiritual well being, were perhaps what allowed him to pass with peace and grace. He had chosen a house that was not favourable for his health. His bedroom arrangement was equally deleterious. And his line of work ironically draining from a health perspective. In his case, the most effective feng shui was done through conversation and new understandings…

People outside feng shui circles think of the practice as an Asian form of interior design. Nothing could be further from the truth. Anyone who has seriously studied feng shui, apprenticed, worked in the field for a while, and had successes (as I have), is psychic. It is that simple. They have a sense for spaces. The flow of energy that can make a home feel like sunshine or a dungeon. And the things that can seriously mess up homes. Sure they make calculations that look like geometry, prepare blueprint quality floorplans when needed, and always have a compass handy. But their intuitions are what make them great and effective. Their feel for everything the client has, and has not, told them. Their feel for the way the space speaks of what is really going on. And how to marry all of these things in a set of recommendations that benefits everyone. Or should, if they aren’t lying to themselves about what they really want. The lesson? There are so many many reasons why feng shui is requested by people. Furniture arranging is a gross oversimplification.

2008-11-21T13:54:00.000-08:00

OK, I started writing about my experiences as a feng shui consultant... (and I will add more as I can)

Confessions of a Feng Shui Consultant…

Let’s start with something ugly…

I once had a client’s husband leave me an irate 15-minute voice mail. He was going to report me to the Better Business Bureau! He was convinced that I had destroyed his marriage and was the bane of his existence. Me. Humble me. It was true. I’d been to his house, delivered detailed recommendations after a thorough evaluation. All throughout which, his wife spoke copiously and he remained silent. They had issues. The unfinished basement was a completely disorganized carpet, or should I say sea, of debris. Artificial Christmas tree, partly full opened boxes from their move 7 years ago, keyboards – stuff. All looking as if some giant had scooped it up, shaken it like dice, and then rolled it all onto the floor. There were a few pathways. The backyard was a perfect green postage stamp. Completely empty and apparently never used, or even walked on for that matter. There were no pictures on the walls. Anywhere. There was an armoire inside the bedroom walk in closet. They never ate at their lovely dining room table, preferring instead to eat in bed, as they always had since they met in university. Can you say STAGNATION? They were not moving forward. Often the real reasons people ask you for an evaluation are only revealed once you have their trust and confidence. Sometimes you are really a catalyst for crisis. After I offered to meet with him to discuss his concerns, I continued to receive requests from his wife for fine-tuning the house. He never got back to me. I suspect I was called in to facilitate a break up. I will never know.