Relationships

I was making changes to my business web site last night (www.balancedwayconsulting

.ca) and thinking about a great couple I had advised on feng shui concerns for their wedding. Location, colours, table settings, dates, times, the works. As with most couples, they wanted, but did not openly ask for, advice on how to last a lifetime. So we had the commitment talk. That isn't a popular word or idea these days. With 50% divorce rates in North America, I can understand why. Love. You actually need more than this if you want to hedge your bets.

What is the measuring stick for a healthy relationship?

Does the relationship empower you?
Are there more opportunities for cooperation than conflict?
Does it regularly take a lot of energy/effort in order to be with that person?

At the end of the day when you part company how do you feel? (after you give yourself time to truly connect with your body/gut?)

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Ask yourself: Why should I stay with this person?

If you answered "Because I love them." then go to the back of the line.

If you answered "Because of what I become with that person." then move forward.

It is never a matter of what that person gives you, that implies stagnation and dependence.

Ask yourself: What have I become with this person?

If you answer honestly, without fear, you will save yourself heartache and discover something truly revealing...

Believe me, none of the above is easy, and it is so so so worth doing.
The choice of who to spend your life with is the most important decision you will ever make. (The second most important being what the two of you choose to create together.)


There is nothing more nurturing and supportive than someone you can truly depend on. Someone who will not bail on you no matter what comes. That is commitment. That is hard to find. That is hard to do.
That is ultimately affirming both for you and your loved one.

So, go get busy!)

------------------------ good advice from a favourite author, the Barefoot Doctor --------------------

Expecting someone to love you a certain way is a certain way to kill the way they love you.

Ideally, respect yourself enough to respect the other person enough to allow them to make their choices based on truth rather than lies.