Bedroom Advice

Bedrooms

A few months ago I was on the new CHCH morning Home Show, CH@HOME, talking about Feng Shui for bedrooms. Why? Because it was spring, the time of renewal, reproduction, and romance [think green, think sprouts and buds]. Your bedroom is your most important room. You spend more time there than in any other room in your home. You go there to rest, recharge, and for physical intimacy. It is essential that this room nurtures and supports you every way it can. From a Feng Shui perspective there is a short list of essential, “DOs”, and “DON’Ts”.

First and foremost decide “What is your bedroom’s purpose?” I have seen bedrooms do double duty as home offices and storerooms. In my opinion, the only appropriate purpose for your bedroom is rest, renewal, and intimacy. Mixed purposes are always compromises. DO NOT compromise when it comes to your most important room. Find another room for your office or that pile of boxes. Your bedroom can be a sanctuary. You deserve one.

Do have the most comfortable and restful bed you can afford. Be sure it has a headboard, which symbolically supports you. Generally speaking, the bigger the bed the better! That said, make sure it is not too big for the room. You are more important than your bed.

Do display photos of yourselves; just the two of you – a happy couple. This says who you are and what you want: a strong, healthy, loving relationship. There should be no audience. No photos of family or friends. No collection of stuffed animals. You wouldn't want your grandparents watching you, nor Pooh Bear staring at you wondering what you are doing. There are great places in every home for a wall of family photos and that teddy bear collection. It isn’t in your bedroom.

Generally speaking, you DO NOT WANT anything that takes away from the purpose of the room. So, this means no phone. I know we all feel like we should be chained to those things, and that not being close to one would be irresponsible. My first priority when working with any client is their well being. I think about it like this: my clients rest very soundly in their bedrooms, and I want you to be emotionally and intellectually prepared for that call that comes at 4 A.M. Regardless of whether it is good news or bad, I want you to get up, walk out of your bedroom and reach a level of awareness and preparedness that is appropriate for what you may be facing with that call.

No mirrors either. You are quite capable of dressing without a mirror. And you’ll make yourself presentable in the bathroom mirror. Good Feng Shui consultants’ recommendations always work on multiple levels. Again, I’m thinking of your well being. I don’t want my clients waking in the night, getting up to go to the bathroom, and being startled in their groggy state, by something unexpectedly moving (themselves) in a mirror. This is your bedroom. It should be as safe and secure as possible. If something unexpectedly moves, you may go right into fight-or-flight mode! Not a positive experience. Put that full length mirror in the bathroom on the back of the door.

No TV. This one is usually a fight. Remember: rest, relaxation, and intimacy. While people can connect while watching television, the risk of ignoring each other, or having one person watching while the other tries to sleep, is just too great. Have a room for entertainment and that big screen. Keep the distractions out of your bedroom.

No ensuite bathroom. Ah, the great North American status symbol. No one should be without the convenience of one! Just say no. There are many reasons. Here are two. There is nothing romantic or restful about the noises that come out of bathrooms. You know this. You can’t ignore them. No matter how sexy your partner is when they emerge, the prelude sets the wrong mood. As well, from a deeper Feng Shui perspective, everything that we do in bathrooms has to do with getting rid of something unwanted. I will not elaborate. Choosing an ensuite is like choosing to build your new dream home next to the dump. Sure, you have total convenience. You walk into your backyard and throw your garbage over the fence. But…

These are the basics for creating an extraordinary bedroom. Other critical pieces, like room colours and placement of the bed are chosen specifically for the people who will sleep there. I hope that the reasons for the above recommendations reveal something important about Feng Shui. It is much more than simply rearranging furniture, throwing up wind chimes, and burning incense. There are many reasons behind every recommendation and the overall evaluation is tailored to the needs of the individual(s). Your happiness and well being are always your consultant’s first priority. The same house could be decorated and arranged in two completely different ways for two different couples. Just like clothes. You can buy something off the rack or get something tailor made for you. If you have the choice…. what would you wear?